Hey all,

 Yeah, it's 4: 54 am. The steroids are being steroids, I guess...so, thought I'd make good use of my time and say hey!

 I've had some rough spots in this journey lately but God is so good, so I want to tell you about some stuff.

I know I haven't been on in awhile. I've just been struggling since we got the news that the cancer is back and is 70% of my liver. I had such peace the first time around that I knew only God could give, then He healed me, then when I got the news the 2nd time, I could only question why. It's just been this big roller coaster ride emotionally,mentally, and physically. News just comes when I least expect it. Since then I've had a week of being in bed from a drug the doc tried that he said about killed me  , a week to recover, a good week ( a break from chemo), and now I had chemo today and am up all nite. Right now my white blood cell count is down so I go tomorrow and Wednesday for a shot to bring them up. Meanwhile, Andrea has scarlet fever,which the doc said is a form of strep. She isn't contagious now, but I'm waiting and hoping not to come down with it since I drank after her when she was contagious. Poor thing is just covered in a rash all over. She's on an antibiotic. I thought for sure she had chicken pox and we took her to the doc twice. He said he only sees 1 or 2 cases a year. I thought that was something from like 50 years ago.

Anyway, I tell you all of that to tell you this: I've been reading through the Psalms and this verse came up twice (a God thing).    " Why are you downcast ,O my soul? Why so disturbed within me ? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savoir and my God."                                                                                                                           

I read that and I started to realize in the midst of  this storm ,He is right here. These are just some examples of His love being poured out to me. Just today,this all happened: I got to spend some time with mom just sitting and talking during chemo and then over a delicious lunch at Red Lobster . I came home to big hugs and a resounding "mommy" from Andrea. I received a yummy homecooked meal from a friend (which we have been getting meals twice a week from people who just want to do it-another God thing) , We got a $50 Red Robin gift card for Greg and I to use on a date nite in the mail , 3 calls from people just to see how I am, a get well card dropped at the door with $100 in it, and tonite, some Bible verses that spoke to my heart. I could go on and on about all the blessings I have gotten through so many people. People who take time out of their busy schedules to sit with me for hours at chemo just so I have company, cards just about everyday and calls, I've gotten massages to help with pain and groceries, lots of hugs, and prayers, a lot of prayers, from people all over who don't even know me..like I said I could go on and on. It's just so amazing. I never  expected so much love shown to me but then ,isn't that what God is all about? So yeah, I will praise Him because we all have storms in life and Jesus never said He would keep us from the storms but he said He would be right there and go through them with us and I'm here to tell you when the storms get really rocky at times, he is there all the more and I know he will be till the end and I will rest in that and keep my eyes on Him. He's holding me in His hands. He really is an awesome God. Have a great day and if you can, stop at the end of today and think about what all went on and I think you"ll see it too. Luv you guys!